(enter 5-minute spazz out, complete with shreiking and jumping around)

I just found out, I have a B in my Microeconomics class, which has been my hardest class this semester! I seriously thought I was failing or maybe, with my best hopes, getting a D, but holy cow! I have a B!!! <3 I am so happy right now, that I seriously have been spazzing out for the last few minutes. That's the score I'm guaranteed to get, and if I take the comprehensive final, I might be able to push my grade up a little bit (MAYBE). But the fact that I got a B at all feels like a miracle to me! I <3 my teacher's curved grading~! (Beacuse if he didn't grade that way, only one or two students, if that, from all his classes would be failing/would have failed.)

YAY!!! <3 has a Beeeee!!

So it's been a thought of mine, as of late, that I might get a video camera. Granted, Stephanie-chan would have to teach me how to use it, but it was a thought. I don't know If I really need it now though: Mostly it was for keeping in touch with peoples if I went away to nothland. I'm pretty sure (that means almost positive) that I am staying where I am now, though, so I don't know if I ould use said video camara. I don't know. I've never really done much with computers, televisions, or anything other than a cell phone (which I didn't use until -about- a year ago).  I am trying though...I suppose we'll have to see. I don't think I could do a "daily blog" sort of thing that Steph does, so I really don't know what I would use it for. Eh. :/ 


In other news, had a choir concert, and I suppose it went fairly decently. The best part was when my friends came, because I realized that I have never had any friends come to my concerts (that weren't themselves in the choir). Furthermore, Bo came dressed in costume and almost made me laugh during the concert: That was well done, even if he didn't get me to laugh when I was singing. It did help me smile though, because everything else was kindof "bleh." 


OOoo!! and I'm getting a summer off now too! Since I got horrible FA for the summer, I said "heck with this!" and decided to stay at home. Now I guess I'll be helping out doing yardwork, cleaning, and maybe I'll get some writing and carving done too. Who knows? I'm pretty sure I'll be bored to tears for the most part, but we'll see. The first challenge of the summer is to see if I can gat the licence I've put off for so long now... Good luck future self! :) Yay! <3

I think that;s about it for now. No stories or poems, but a small upddate for those who actually care to see a small window into my life. Eh.

Her slumped, covered figure lay like a dead one in her bed. All energy, all will, all fighting for sleep and peace of mind gone. Her troubled heart had picked up in so short a time as to render her eyes open; albeit their raw quality, where the tears had eroded small cracks down her face.

It had been three days. Maybe four. 

Cavan figured she needed help, but there was no one to go to. Even if there were, she was certain her questions - of which there were many - would only trouble and aggravate. She did not even know how to phrase them if someone was there, though she would try desperately all the same.

A  groan. She rolled onto her other side. the strings, thin as spider's silk, threaded their way through the holes in her hands, and kept her moving. If only her mind could rest... The strings, torturous as they were, came from her anxiety. On Ael, her once-beleived friend, now painful reminder of past experiences, along with the origin of her chaos. How, Why, What,  Can it be, Please no, How do I, Is this true, please no. what, What, WHAT? Did I?..

A crack.

Her heart echoed where love and attachment used to be. Somewhere between the cobwebs forming inside her ribs, she could only grasp slivers of fear, sadness, peace, or memories of them, anyway. Now was the only time that she felt she could talk, or that she felt at all. Pushing her pillow to her face, she muffled the latest in a series of sobs, screams on the inside. Mother was sleeping; she had enough to worry about, and did not need to hear any more distress. Besides, Cavan knew she could only explain so much. Her mother could not help her in this discord. Could even God help her now, when she felt so alone? Could God be the only one, truly?

She trembled, scared of the next day's emptiness. The black, sticky emptyness that sucks in deeper. It Consumes. 
It's never satiated. 

To feel nothing but the ice cold blood, pumping through her veins.
Coarsing throughout her body.
Eating her alive.

Cavan, as she painfully, finally closes her eyes, her heart only grows heavy.
Her mind clouded.

Numb.

Disconnected.

Finally. 

Her repreive each night from the chaos is also her greatest curse: the lack of feeling. The numbness. The Disconnect. The empty. 

Cut the red ribbon, Panda's madness has been let loose on the internet via her friend Sailor Moon/Usagi. Unfortunately, keyboards are a relatively new thing to this mammal, and blogging will certainly take some getting use to. Therefore, stories and random bits of textual information might be put up here instead for awhile, if not indefinately. We'll see. Indeed, we will see, won't we internet? In retrospect, also a merry christmas to all! How Ironic that I (Panda) should begin a new technological chapter of her existence on the celebration of Jesus' birth. Huh. Okay then.  

...

This post will now self destruct in ten seconds.